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A Letter To Umaru-chan

Dear Umaru-chan,

You are pathetic. Yeah, kindly stop those crocodile tears before they trigger a catastrophe in your elder brother's apartment, a 1DK. Honestly, you are quite a disgrace for a high school student, despite your efforts in keeping up a fake appearance and manipulating your poor, hardworking brother with your mind games. But I suppose that I could temporarily divert any other nasty remarks which I have for you, and add a word of congratulations to the anime adaptation of your story. Nope, it is none of my business that the anime had its premiere in early July. I shall watch it as and when I please, thank you very much. Go wipe those stupid tears.

Just look at that huge portion of fried rice which your brother had cooked for you. That looked really delicious, but instead of partaking your brother's effort, you unreasonably demanded the latest manga magazine from the convenience store. I feel that you should be more grateful and less of a slob. Nope, changing into that kira kira mode will never work for anyone in the right state of mind. You deserve to be kicked out of the apartment. Oh, and please refrain from animal cruelty. I mean, you were already being cruel by making your brother buy those little hamsters in the first place. Why should he be cleaning your hamsters' cage and such?

But I have to say though, that initial transformation which you did after you came home from school was rather superb. I suppose that if others were to be like you, they might need to drink some magic potion off the shady merchant. Or they could play one of those role-playing computer games or something. Well, it is amazing that you could binge and still maintain such a jaw-dropping, eye-popping figure. Are those little stars around you part of the package? The striking contrast is simply unthinkable.  

Anyway, it is somewhat a relief that your exterior continues to attract admirers and such. I think that Ebina Nana makes a wonderful friend! Yeah, of course she is a lot better than you. If she were real, I would so want to talk to her and become friends. Well, Ebina is quite the catch. I find her really cute and compatible with your brother! Nope, definitely not with you. Why should you be concerned about a thing like this?  

Oh, before I end this, I have stumbled upon this figurine of yours. Not bad, it should make a great paperweight.

Eccentrically Yours.

Written by J.Fluffysheep ♪

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